coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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