just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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