adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
