how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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