If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
