pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize