How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
