last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
