it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
last night I used snow as a chaser
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
