He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
