When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize