PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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