After last night, I could never be a politician.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
