if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
