worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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