So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
