so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
