Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
