I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize