he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
