I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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