Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
