And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
BRING THE BAGELS
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
