you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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