I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
