I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
