just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
