Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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