I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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