when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
