Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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