By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
