omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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