WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
