I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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