We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
