So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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