I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
