Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize