Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
