everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
