You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
