I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
