They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize