They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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