You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
