Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
