he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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