Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
