i think my tv is drunk
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
