So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
