She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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