I think im going to throw up on grandma
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
there is puke in my bra ... again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
