so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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