Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
