his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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