in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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